Weird & Wonderful Book Club for Writers

The courage to write in a deeply meaningful way

August 06, 2021 Emma Veritas
Weird & Wonderful Book Club for Writers
The courage to write in a deeply meaningful way
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode Emma Veritas talks about how to find the courage to write in a deeply meaningful way.

In this episode you will learn:

  • Why writing in a deeply meaningful way is so scary
  • Why it's important to share your message anyway
  • How to use the Vulnerability Scale to help you build your courage muscles


Episode links:


Disclaimer:

This episode is not a replacement for therapy, mental health care, or any medical treatments you may need. You are completely responsible for your health and well-being. You are fully responsible for the decisions and actions you take with regard to your life and affairs. This podcast does not create a coach-client relationship between you and the hosts of the show.

Emma Veritas:

Welcome to the wildly authentic writers club. I am Emma Veritas and I am here to help you build the courage and confidence to inspire teach and help others by writing your, blog, today we were talking about how to find the courage to write in a deeply meaningful way. This Episode is for you if you are somebody who has a message you want to share with the world, There is something in your heart that you have to say, it feels important and meaningful to you, but it is also pretty scary to write the words that you are here to write. And it's also very scary to think about hitting publish on your writing. And the deal is for you, and for me, people like us, the closer our writing is to our heart, the harder and scarier it can be to sit down and write and hit publish. This is because it can be very vulnerable to share something that really matters to you, right ? This thing you have to say, it's deeply meaningful to you, meaning it's important and it's, and it matters. But when we think about putting our words on the page, when we think about sharing our words with others and potentially getting feedback about those words from other people, it can sometimes feel like we're putting our heart on the line. So it can be really scary, even though at the same time, it's also really important to do this, to write what we are here to write . And it's important for a couple of reasons. It's certainly important for your readers, your potential readers, for the people who are going to hear your message and be helped by it. Um, the truth is that someone could read your work and it could be the first time they ever thought of this thing that you are saying. It could be just exactly what they need to hear at the right moment. Even if they've heard similar kind of messages in the past, it could be that the way, how you say it, the stories you have to tell are finally the ones that help it click in for that person. And so this deeply meaningful thing, you're here to write about your message. It is truly important, right? For, for the people you're here to help inspire and teach. And it's also important for you on a personal level. Um, I don't know about you, but for me, I was certainly taught when I was young that I talked too much. I was too loud. Um , my ideas generally weren't welcome in the room. I was taught to try to be quieter than I was. Um, and I spent a lot of time in my teenage years in my twenties, just wishing I could be quieter. So I really stifled my voice, even though it was really hard to do cause I'm a talker. So I wasn't very good at stifling my voice, but the feeling of, of just wishing I hadn't spoken the feeling of embarrassment of just, oh, why did I get that negative feedback again, in that conversation that is such a hard feeling. And then when you experienced the shift of realizing that, Hey, no, I don't need to be embarrassed. This is who I am. I get to be myself in the world. I get to be authentic. And this is truly what I believe. It's what I think it's what I feel. And it will help and inspire and teach others. Therefore, it's also important. This is an incredibly freeing shift on a personal level where you can finally feel like you have a voice in the world and you get to take up space in the world with that voice. And you get to have the courage and confidence to do that. It's an incredibly transformative act on a personal level. So how do you do this? How do you build the courage to write in a deeply meaningful way in the way that you really want to write, right? Writing from the heart? How do you build the courage to do that? So in my membership community, the courageous bloggers society, I talk a lot about a tool. I like to call the vulnerability scale. This is an incredibly useful tool , um , for any point in the writing journey, but it's very potently useful when you are starting out. And the premise behind the vulnerability scale is that a lot of times, client clients, I've had friends. I have talked to about their writing. They sometimes write something that's so meaningful and so vulnerable and they hit publish on it that they then get, I think what Brene brown calls a vulnerability hangover, meaning they feel the next day, or even the next minute, like squirmy and cringy. They may delete their post right away. They might wish they never posted. They go through a lot of turmoil after publishing their meaningful work, because what they wrote was so vulnerable. So near and dear to their heart. And sometimes what happens is that vulnerability hangover is so big that they then don't write again for weeks, for months ever really, you know, you might have experienced this yourself where you really haven't written since the last time, you know , a couple of years ago where maybe you published something that was so important to you. And the deal is that writing the truth is wonderful. This is what we're here doing, right. We are here to write the truth, but I am also here to help you write the truth. Not just once but many times over and over and over again, as a wildly authentic writer, as a wildly authentic blogger, I want to help you write and keep writing. Part of what I teach my members in the courageous bloggers society is how to build your vulnerability muscles over time. So how this works is you can think about a piece of writing. You have an idea you have, maybe it's a post you've written or a post you've published in the past. And you can ask yourself on a scale from one to 10, how vulnerable does this feel for you to have this live in the world? Or if it's a post you haven't published yet for it to live in the world, potentially a rating of one on the vulnerability scale would be, it's not vulnerable at all. You feel like you can put this into the world. If somebody reacts negatively, it wouldn't impact you. This is not sensitive. It's not too personal. It's just, you're fine with it, right? It's a one, a rating of 10 on the vulnerability scale means that this is highly vulnerable. And the idea of getting even one negative response feels like it could just squash your heart and your soul because this is so vulnerable. And there's a potential that if you get any negative feedback on this thing that you might not write again , um , for a long time, right? You would need a lot of recovery time from a negative feedback on this particular writing piece that you're working on. So what I like to do with my writing is I like to hang out around a level five on the vulnerability scale, meaning that it is a growing edge for me, I am writing something that is relatable is personal. It's not gonna fall flat. Um, it's interesting. It might feel hard to share, but I also know that if I got negative feedback on this thing, that yes, it could hurt my feelings. Yes, I might need to recover from that, but I know that I could write again pretty easily, you know, I could pick up my pen again in the next week or two, even if I needed to talk through that negative feedback with my coach or with my friends. Right. But I know that what I'm sharing, isn't so vulnerable that my heart would just be on the floor. And the deal is when you write at this level five of vulnerability and you do it again and again, what counts as a level five begins to change over time. So for example, one of my very first blog posts was about, you know, career and leaving my Dull Gray cubicle job. Um, and what that was like for me, that was , uh, a level five vulnerability for me at the time. And it felt like a growing edge. It felt hard to share that because I knew my old colleagues might read it. Um, I knew my people in my family might read it. I didn't really want to get negative feedback on it, but I also really wanted to share this message of what it was like for me to leave that dull job that was killing my soul. Now, however, it doesn't really feel vulnerable at all to share about that because I've gotten used to sharing about my old job. I've kind of built my resiliency for that. It doesn't feel so intense or so sensitive to share that anymore . So my vulnerability muscles have grown over time for that topic. What is a level 10 vulnerability for me today is really different than what it was five years ago. You know, it just, it really changes because when you let yourself grow slowly into sharing the wildly authentic truth, you're here to share you build your resiliency, you build your self care , right? You get really used to what it feels like to write and hit publish on something that feels sensitive to you. You get used to your unique pattern of emotions that come up for you, your unique patterns of limiting beliefs of all of these things, right? And you can begin to build in a really beautiful plan for your own self care and your own resilience so that you can keep writing. And if you would love some more tips for how to play with your writing to get it at that vulnerability level of five, or if you want a reminder of how to use the vulnerability scale, I invite you to download my workbook, my free workbook, which is called six steps to calm your fear and write your first blog post. One of those steps is a full written explanation of the vulnerability scale with some examples of how you can work with your blog posts to help you get to that level five of vulnerability that is a growing edge, but also isn't too high on the vulnerability scale for you. And you can download that workbook at wildauthenticity.com forward slash 6 steps. That is the number six steps, and the link is in the show notes. And thank you so much for joining me at the wildly authentic writers club. I really Appreciate you listening. And I would love to hear from you so you can leave a review in your favorite podcast player to tell me what you got out of the show. I am definitely going to read your reviews. So I would love to know how the show landed for you. And you can also email me at [email protected] to ask me any questions you have. What are your writing questions? I would love to answer them on the podcast. Okay. Thanks everyone. Bye.